How Do I React???

http://www.archives.gov/research/vietnam-war/casualty-lists/nj-by-town.html

Although many things make me stop in my tracks and either think about my life, smile or frown the one thing that changed my life drastically was the story of a 19 year old man. This man gave his life up for his country in the Vietnam War, my uncle, Richard Ives. It was on my fifth teen birthday when I was told the reason behind 5 Ives Court, the street I live on. Growing up I just thought it was ironic that my street name was my mother’s maiden name; little did I know it was because of my uncle. My uncle Richard was one of the youngest solider to die in the Vietnam War and it was because of his devotion to his country that his life was cut short. Richard Ives was born August 8, 1946 and died on January 13, 1966.

Uncle Richard was the second person in my family that devoted their lives to the army and had the burning desire to fight for the country; unfortunate he was the only one that died doing so. The street was named after him because of his inspiring attitude to fellow soldiers and his ability to receive a medal of honor in such a short time. He was the oldest of five children and he left behind a loving family, a fiancé and unborn son. His son Richard Jr. was born five hours after he was declared dead. His stay on the army base was a short three months and through letters, he stated “I would do it all over again.” The story of my uncle saddens. He was going to marry the love of his life Gradys Ivery on January 18, wedding was going to a homecoming and a wedding celebration, he was suppose to come home a on January 15.

At age fifth teen I was immature, self involved and eager to live life. When I was told this story I instantly matured and looked at life differently. After a very emotional hour of being proud, sad and curious I understood and appreciated my uncle. Even though I never met him, living on that street and knowing his story helped me to know him. I pride myself in being his niece and I keep his photo with me. His sense of determination and pride has helped shape me into the person I strive to be. I wanted to be dedicated to everything I was involved in, whether it is in relationship, organizations or school. I want to succeed and live life to the fullest. The army is most definitely not for me but when my uncle lived his life he didn’t just limit himself to that, he had a fiancé and a family that he loved and took care of.

Many things in life can change your perspective on things and change the way you live you life. I am grateful to have my uncle apart of my change. It has been five years since I heard that story of my uncle and I have noticed that at times that determination to mirror him has in both senses hindered and bettered my life. My senior year of high school I tried to get a 4.0, by doing this I forgot the meaning of hanging out and being a kid. When applying for schools I had more than thirty schools in mind and only truly applied to two. Trying to mirror my uncle’s success made me understand that life is only what you make it and your goals are a measure of what YOU think is successful. I wasn’t able to graduate high school with a 4.0. I graduated with a 3.5. I wasn’t able to apply to 30 colleges, only two actually interested me to take the time out and apply. Losing all my friends, forgetting the meaning of fun and the stress free lifestyle is something that I won’t ever be able to get back but the knowledge of knowing that it’s OK to be me will be something I keep forever.

After going through these years of change and trying to make sense of life through my own eyes I was able to lay my emotions out. I realized after hearing my uncle story that I didn’t want to be him or mirror him, I wanted to become a good enough person that would be remembered. I am a funny, inspiring and strong woman that loves life and I truly believe that I would be remembered. I also believe that hearing my uncle’s story has helped me to take life by the hand and live it to the fullest. My mother and I talked one day about my uncle and she described him as one of the best men she has ever known. She said even though she was really young when he died, she remembers his demeanor and the way he communicated to others. My mom said that “he was able to make something that was impossible to understand, understandable.” After taking my EQ test, I was scored as a good communicator. I may have not been able to be exactly like my uncle but I have similar motives in life and good communication skills will help me to be successful just like him.

Many years since my uncle’s death have past and my family has tried to keep that wound shut. Memories of him involve stories, a medal of honor and flag is all that my family has. While looking for information about my uncle, I was somewhat doubtful because I was told it was going to be almost impossible because it was so long ago. I looked and looked and was stocked about the limited information given. After a few days of looking I found a website relating to casualties of the Vietnam War. Even though it wasn’t a lot, it was enough. I called my mother and she called my aunt and it became a celebration. Everyone was ecstatic to see my uncle remains a legacy.